20: You might be stuck with your hand for life like marriage, but at least it hold up its end of the deal.
19: A hand will never surprise you with some bizzare demand to talk about your relationship.
18: Hands are highly useful for cleaning and other chores.
17: Your hand won't spout thunder when you surf porn or glance in the general direction of a hot woman.
16: Hands accept the fact that you're horny all the time instead of waiting for their best day in a month.
15: Your hand won't suck your wallet empty then complain that you're not responsible enough to afford a house.
14: Hands don't have unrealistic expectations about your career.
13: Your hand won't dump you for someone taller or richer.
12: A hand doesn't call a secret sex affair 'true love' and a committed relationship 'imprisonment.'
11: Your hand won't try to suck the masculinity out of you with all of these new age metrosexual softboy fads.
10: A hand doesn't put up this revolutionary war against malekind for asking it to act like a hand.
9: Your hands won't dream about someone more manly than the androgynous boychick a girlfriend will turn you into.
8: Hands never complain about the time you spend on the internet or gaming.
7: You can always have 2 hands at the same time.
6: Hands won't complain about how you don't look like a magazine cover model.
5: Your hand hasn't been fucking other men before you, and won't be secretly fucking other men behind your back.
4: Hands don't menstruate.
3: Your hand doesn't 'forget' birth control and expect you to pay for someone else's baby.
2: Hands don't have emotions explode out of nowhere or call you uncaring for keeping your cool.
1: Your hand will always make you a sandwich if you want it to.
Guess which ones are my favourites.
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